I have a lot on my mind this week. There are a lot of emotions that have come to the surface recently. Please just skip past this post if you are in a good mood or do not want to hear some ranting.
I am really try to keep my head up and stay positive but it is hard. I feel like I have been on a roller coaster the past few days.
It started on Saturday with our turtle Doc dying and then seeing all the families trick or treating made me sad. I found out this week that someone I knew in college is pregnant and it was not planned. Then today my stepsister in law gave birth to a son. I know that these are all happy things (well except for Doc) but not for me. It just reminds of my short comings. I just reminds me of what I am missing out on.
Artie and I have been trying to finish all the classes we have to take. The paperwork and hoops that we have to jump through are maddening. Just so someone can judge whether or not we are going to be good enough to be parents. I hate it.
I was driving the other day when a song came on the radio. I lost it. I had to pull over until I could get myself together. The song is "While I'm Waiting" by John Waller and is from the Fireproof soundtrack. The song just reminds me that I am not alone. That God is always good and I will continue to praise Him even during the hardest of days.
I am really try to keep my head up and stay positive but it is hard. I feel like I have been on a roller coaster the past few days.
It started on Saturday with our turtle Doc dying and then seeing all the families trick or treating made me sad. I found out this week that someone I knew in college is pregnant and it was not planned. Then today my stepsister in law gave birth to a son. I know that these are all happy things (well except for Doc) but not for me. It just reminds of my short comings. I just reminds me of what I am missing out on.
Artie and I have been trying to finish all the classes we have to take. The paperwork and hoops that we have to jump through are maddening. Just so someone can judge whether or not we are going to be good enough to be parents. I hate it.
I was driving the other day when a song came on the radio. I lost it. I had to pull over until I could get myself together. The song is "While I'm Waiting" by John Waller and is from the Fireproof soundtrack. The song just reminds me that I am not alone. That God is always good and I will continue to praise Him even during the hardest of days.
I added a link to the youtube video. Please watch it... you will love it too Amber...I know how music moves you.
I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait
I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait
I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait
I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait
I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord
2 comments:
The entire movie Fireproof tore me up!!! The movie was out in theaters last year during Troy's "crisis" and our first "date" after everything was over was to see this movie with some friends... I balled.. he balled.. we all left with puffy eyes.
My heart just hurts for you. If I had a bambino to give you I would. I know that you guys would be fabulous parents and I also know that there is a special little life that is being prepared FOR YOU and you for them. I can only imagine how each passing day, holiday, life event must bring joy and yet a sense of grief at the same time. I still grieve for so many things... you can only continue to try to let it go and allow your Heavenly Father to carry you.
Thank you for posting that. I might take that and put it up on my surgery blog. I hope that God has you see the glory that is his tomorrow because he made the day for you! PS. Sorry about your pet.
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